Desserts, Food, Gluten Free, Grain Free, Muffins / Cupcakes

Mama G’s Lazy Ass Cupcake Recipe (aka Almond Flour Cupcakes)

So, I won’t be so silly as to call these little babies paleo…there’s more than enough sugar in that icing to make sure that the words “paleo” and “healthy” don’t even begin to cross my lips when I talk about these. But they’re cupcakes, they’re not supposed to be good for you!

What these are is grain free, and easy. Super easy. I promised my wife that I’d make her cupcakes, but found myself with absolutely no interest in braving the wintery weather to scour the shelves of the hippy food store for xanathan gum, and sorghum flour…and any of the other weird ingredients that are often found in gluten free baking. Why can’t there be a simple gluten free recipe out there? One that doesn’t call for ingredients I’m pretty sure I used in highschool chemistry class? A recipe that’s quick to make, and basic – so I can add whatever flavours I want?

And then I realized that standing in front of the kitchen windows with a whisk in my hand, talking to myself, was scaring the neighbours…and I came up with Mama G’s Lazy Ass Cupcake Recipe.

The icing recipe that follows is super easy as well, and VERY sweet. It goes nicely with the cupcakes because they aren’t terribly sweet. But, if you don’t have a sweet tooth, I’d recommend making a honey or maple-syrup based buttercream instead. Actually…that sounds good…stay tuned for that recipe shortly!

AlmondFlourCupcake

Almond Flour Mini Cupcakes

Ingredients

  • 1½ cups almond flour
  • 1¼ teaspoon baking soda
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • ½ cup full-fat coconut milk (go for the stuff in the can, not in the box. The stuff in the box is basically coconut drink. Bleh. You can also go with cream, or milk, or even 50/50 almond milk and cream. Just don’t use anything thinner, or without some fatty goodness in it)
  • 2 tablespoons coconut oil, melted
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • 3 tablespoons raw honey
  • 2 eggs, room temperature

Directions

  1. If you’ve got really chunky almond meal, and not almond flour, it helps to pulse that in a food processor for a few spins before you get started. Technically there’s no difference between almond flour and almond meal, but the finer consistency makes a big difference. While you’re debating whether your almond meal is fine enough, go ahead and turn the over to 350.
  2. In a large bowl blend together almond flour, baking soda and salt.
  3. In another bowl (this one doesn’t have to be large, but it may feel inadequate next to the dry ingredients bowl. Bowls are sensitive creatures.) whisk together the coconut milk, melted coconut oil,  vanilla, honey and eggs.
  4. With a spatula, blend the wet and dry ingredients together.
  5. Spoon evenly into lined mini-cupcake tins, makes roughly 24!
  6. Bake for 15-18 minutes, or until edges turn a lovely golden brown. Remember, we’re working with almonds here…so as soon as they turn golden, or you can smell their heavenly aroma PULL THEM OUT OF THE OVEN. These suckers go from perfect to burnt as fast as a redhead at the beach.

 

So Easy It’s Ridiculous(ly Sweet) Icing

This, is the lazy man (or woman’s) frosting…and therefore one of my favourites.

  • 100g butter (room temperature)
  • 200g icing sugar
  • 1-2 tsp flavoured extract

Smoosh together all of the above. Add food colouring if you so desire, and either spread it on your completely cooled little cupcakes, or get fancy and pipe it on with a piping bag.

 

 

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Food, Gluten Free, Grain Free, Snacks

Nut Bars

So, the joy of eating no grains what-so-ever means that most snack/granola/easy to grab and go bars I simply can’t do. On top of that, I refuse to eat those nasty little hard to pronounce ingredients that are staples of most pre-prepared foods. I want to eat food that’s real, is that too much?

SO! I made these, another one of my “add in whatever you want, just make sure you do the ‘glue’ of the recipe properly and you’ll be fine” recipes!

Nut Bars

Prep Time: 10 Minutes      Cook Time: 5 Minutes      Chill out and Knit Time: 15-20 minutes

Ingredients
  • 2 cup packed dates, pitted (deglet noor, A.K.A. Honey Dates)
  • 1/2 cup honey (or sub maple syrup for vegan option)
  • 1/2 cup creamy almond butter
  • 5 cups of whatever the heck you want!
    • 1 cup toasted green pumpkin seeds
    • 1 cup toasted almonds
    • 1 cup toasted coconut flakes (if you can find the BIG flakes, all the better!)
    • 1 cup toasted sunflower seeds
    • 1 cup toasted chopped macadamia nuts
  • optional additions: chocolate chips, dried fruit, nuts, banana chips, vanilla, pinch of sea salt etc.
Instructions
  1. Toss dates into a food processor, and grind them up until small bits remain. It should roll itself into a ball in the processor. If you don’t have a food processor, you’re going to have to get creative. You’re looking for a dough-like consistency.
  2. Place the nuts and dates in a large bowl – set aside.
  3. Warm honey and almond butter in a small saucepan over low heat. Stir and pour over nut and date mixture and then mix, break up the dates so they spread out nicely. You can skip this step, and use just basic arm power…but this holds the bars together so much better…and doesn’t tire you out nearly as much 😉
  4. Once it’s all mixed together, plop into a parchment lined 9×13 baking dish and smoosh it in. Try to get it uniformly flattened. Cover with plastic wrap and leave in the fridge to harden (really, this only takes about 15 or 20 minutes) Press down until uniformly flattened.
  5. Remove bars from pan and chop into bars, make them as big as appropriate. I typically do about 16-20. Store in an airtight container for up to a few days, keep in the fridge for a couple of weeks, or toss a portion of the batch in the freezer to keep even longer. I typically wrap my in plastic wrap, or those little snack-sized zippy bags so they’re ready to grab and go.
Food, Gluten Free, Grain Free, Snacks

Chocolate Protein Bars

So these are an adaption on a recipe I found in one of my many cookbooks. As soon as I find the original source, I’ll cite it.

But until then, enjoy this recipe for grain free, egg free, dairy free snackies that are high in protein and actually taste good. I make two batches of these each week. One for me and my wife, and one for her best friend. This recipe gets the gold stamp of approval from hard working police officers and military folks!

Chocolate Protein Bars

PREP: 15 minutes      BAKE: 50 minutes     TOTAL TIME: 1hr 5min

MAKES: 24

INGREDIENTS

  • 2/3 cup shredded unsweetened coconut
  • 2/3 cup raw sunflower seeds
  • ½ cup green pumpkin seeds
  • 8 Deglet Noor Dates (honey dates)
  • 2 cups almond meal/ground almonds
  • 1 cup coconut flour
  • 1 cup chocolate chips
    (or be fancy and go half white chocolate and half dark chocolate! Or get really fancy (and horribly expensive) and use cocoa nibs)
  • ½ cup coarsely chopped walnuts
  • 4 tbsp whey powder
  • 4 tsp unsweetened cocoa powder
  • up to 1 cup honey/maple syrup/whatever sweetener you want
    (…or don’t, if you have an aversion to awesomness…whatever, it’s up to you.)
  • 1 cup coconut milk
  • ½ cup almond butter (at room temperature, I can’t stress this one enough. Unless you’re looking to skip arm day at the gym that butter needs to be room temp.) 

INSTRUCTIONS

  1. Preheat oven to 200 F. Line a 9”x13” baking pan with parchment paper.
  2. In a food processor combine: coconut, sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds and dates. Blend the hell out of it until it’s kinda like coffee grounds. Pour into large bowl.
  3. With a spoon, stir in almond meal, coconut flour, chocolate chips, wanuts, whey powder, cocoa and honey (if you’re using it.)
  4. Stir in coconut milk and almond butter.
  5. Smoosh into pan.
  6. Bake for 50 minutes, or until firm to the touch.

Recipe easily halved, but really…why would you? But if you want to: Cut all ingredients in half, bake in 9”x9” for 50ish minutes